The Talking Doberman Joke
A man was driving down a road and noticed a sign in front of a house that said, â€œTalking dog for saleâ€?.
Curious, he stops and rings the doorbell. The owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The man heads to the backyard and sees a Doberman.
â€œDo you talk?â€? he asks the Doberman.
â€œYes I doâ€?, the Doberman replies.
After the man recovers from the shock of hearing a dog speak, he says, â€œWow, so whatâ€™s your story?â€?
Â The Doberman looks up and says, â€œWell, I discovered I could talk when I was young and I decided to help the government, so I worked for them. They had me travelling around the world, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one expected a dog would be listening.â€?
â€œI was one of their most valuable spies for eight years, but all the travelling really tired me out and I knew I wasnâ€™t getting any younger so I decided to settle down.â€?
â€œI moved on to a job at the airport doing undercover security work. I would wander near suspicious people and listen to their conversations. I uncovered some incredible information and was awarded many medals. Later I got married, had a litter of puppies, and now Iâ€™m just retired.â€?
The man was amazed. He goes back inside and asks the owner how much he wants for the talking doberman.
â€œ50 bucks,â€™â€? the guy says.
â€œ50 bucks?! That dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?â€?
â€œBecause heâ€™s a bloody liar. He never did any of that stuffâ€?
Doberman Guide Dog Joke
Two women were out for a walk. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua. As they walked, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, â€œLetâ€™s go over to that bar for a drink.â€?
The lady with the Chihuahua said, â€œWe canâ€™t go in there. Weâ€™ve got dogs with us.â€?
The one with the Doberman said, â€œJust watch, and do what I do.â€?
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, â€œSorry, lady, no dogs allowed.â€?
The woman with the Doberman said, â€œOh, This is my seeing-eye dog.â€?
The bouncer said, â€œA Doberman?â€?
The woman said, â€œYes, theyâ€™re using them now. Theyâ€™re very intelligent.â€?
The bouncer said, â€œOK, come on in.â€?
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be hard, but thought, â€œWhat the heck,â€? so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, â€œSorry, lady, no dogs allowed.â€?
The woman said, â€œOh, this is my seeing-eye dog.â€?
The bouncer said, â€œA Chihuahua?â€?
The woman with the Chihuahua said, â€œA Chihuahua? They gave me a frigginâ€™ Chihuahua?!â€?
â€‹Doberman Joke â€“ The Doberman and the Parrot
Mrs. Davidsonâ€™s dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldnâ€™t come over that evening and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: â€œIâ€™ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and Iâ€™ll mail you the check. Donâ€™t worry about my Doberman. He wonâ€™t bother you. But, whatever you do, donâ€™t talk to my parrot!â€?
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Davidsonâ€™s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking doberman he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.
However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts, cursing, yelling, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldnâ€™t stand it any longer and yelled: â€œShut up, you stupid ugly bird!â€?
To which the parrot replied: â€œGet him, Spike!